Hello!!
Y'know... It's been a long time since I paid attention to my blog. I'm so rusty with all my HTML! I can remember a time where I could just write HTML codes, even for tables, just like that on notepad, but now, *cringes*, I actually had to read through other websites' source codes just to refresh my HTML vocab! >_SELAMAT (belated) HARI RAYA to all friends who are celebrating Hari Raya, namely you, you , and both of you! ^_^ Maaf zahir dan batin....
On Wednesday Jia Hui came all the way from Pahang to collect her IELTS results, and stayed over at my house! It's really rare I have friends staying over-- the last one was Monica. Anyway, believe it or not, we actually travelled from Subang Jaya (Sunway Pyramid) to Midvalley Megamall, then Kota Raya (including S&M where else! And Petaling Street), then to KLCC. By the end of the day our feet were numb *laughs*! Besides doing some year-end shopping, sight-seeing, eating, and chatting, we also watched football at my home *grin*.
Whoa! That reminds me! Tomorrow is a certain football player's birthday! *chuckles*.... There's a nice surprise waiting for you guys tomorrow ;).
Mei Ling, glad you met up with Monica! And *grin*, Starbucks Kota Raya is the best place to chill down! (psst... but not too often ok? I'm stretching my ringgit here *laughs*!). And I'm really curious to know what you read in the YP magazine I gave you that you found so convicting!
*Mamolove throws confetti as she hears that Leareth and Hemlocke are coming to Malaysia!* Hemlocke, we may not have corresponded as much as I would have loved to for the past month, but since Shairil isn't in KL this holiday, feel free to contact me if you want someone to show you around, ok? No need to be shy-shy *laughs ala Phua Chu Kang*! I'm on holiday and would gladly be your tour-guide if needed ^_^!
And Leareth, MAKE SURE you come next June *poke poke*. I'll be going off to the UK by August/Septemtber, so I really want to meet ya before I leave *smiles*.
Ok... Have I told you about my list of "TO DOs" during this holiday? Here are some that's H-O-T on my mind:
1. Play BACH and VIVALDI songs on my violin (I'm absolutely nuts over my violin and some of the Baroque songs composed by these two men.)
2. Bring my violin for some minor servicing/upgrading by a *real* luthier (I want to change my violin pegs, and bridge. The bridge is slanting and no longer making a 90 degree angle with my tailpiece. *sweatdrops*... I'm gonna be broke! But I love my violin!)
3. Learn to play the guitar
4. Get some Irish songs for both piano and violin.
5. Continue learning Mandarin!
6. Get more dance songs to dance to...
7. Draw and paint (It's been a while since I've touched my water-colour and poster-colour sets)
8. Play Monopoly (I don't know why... Maybe because now since my sister and brother are old enough to understand, I'll actually get to play the game with other people and not with myself!)
Currently I can't think of more, but I certainly plan to do more than stated. Namely writing emails to people like Katie and Hemlocke and Jen and Andrea. I owe lots of ppl email!
Ok, I'll end here. I am already seeing stars after spending 2 hours online! Man, it feels good to be back home!! Hope to hear from all of you *hugs*!
EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy! Today was my last paper, the dreaded Physics, and thank GOD I could finish the paper in time!! I was so afraid last night I mugged my book until my head spinned. And I only slept at 12.10 am!! Slept like a log, but the moment my alarm sounded at 6 something, I jumped out of my bed! That scared you know *laughs*!
But thankgodthankgodthankgod!! The paper is over, and I could do all the questions! I was also even lucky to have done some similar problems just before the exams! I couldn't have finished the paper had it not been for God's grace *hops around*!
On Tuesday, I nearly fell off the chair when I received a certain someone's SMS. *grin*! Thanks for the surprise, Leareth-chan. I really needed it cause I was feeling weary and tired due to the exam schedule!
Dear Shairil, DO YOU REMEMBER ME?!! *shouts at the top of her lungs*!!!
Hey, Shirley, Jecyrina, Jenny, Theresa! Had a great time with you all during "Christmas at the Park" that Sunday! Thank you so much for fetching and sending me home that night!!
It's H-O-L-I-D-A-Y now! I'm going ice-skating after this! And boy, I can't wait to do the things I have planned for this holiday. Hee, hee... Maybe I'll tell you guys about my wish list later.
MICHAEL OWEN TO BE A DAD!!!
Yes, the headlines in the newpaper literally screamed at me. I nearly screamed too (actually, some sound still came out, but somehow it sounded like I was choking/squealing/screaming).
I am very happy for Michael Owen. Wah.... But he's still so young!! Only 22 and a father already?! Imagine, the kid will be graduating, and the father would still be younger than 50!
At the same time, I'm also equally disturbed. *sigh*.... These Western people.... *sigh*... What is wrong with them? The fact that sex outside marriage is nothing to them seriously disturbs me. And Michael Owen and his girlfriend, Louise Bonsall (yes! Girlfriend! Not even married yet!!) actually said that they won't marry yet.... Yes, I understand he's too busy at the moment, and can see their logic in setting the date next year, after the baby is born, but still! Of course, married or not, they did it before marriage. In fact, I read that Louise was ....
4 months pregnant!
*sigh*.... Yeah, I'm abit disappointed, because I believe God would prefer sex as a surprise package to be enjoyed fully (and be blessed by God himself!) between a husband and wife. Why spoil the fun? You do *it* with someone without the commitment of marriage, what happens if the fun "dies out" within 10 years?
I understand some people's opinion that if you love someone, the sex is just an added bonus. So since you love someone, sex before marriage is okay, since you both would eventually get married. But hey, what about your virginity? As much as a girl trusts a guy, her virginity is something very, very, *very* valuable. It's like a huge, grand, priceless present, that should only be unwrapped when she's married.
In my opinion, if you love someone, yes, sex is an added bonus, because a succesful relationship is more than sex. It's about love, respect, commitment and a shared passion. I can see that in Michael Owen and Louise-- they've been together since primary school *grins*!! She loves sports, and he says she is easy-going, which I can see truly helps him knowing how much pressure he faces in football, and I can see that they're both a match made in heaven.
But why, oh why sex before marriage?
Anyway, I truly *am* excited over this. Mind you, I'm not upset because "oh michael isn't available anymore!" like some strange, disturbing fangirls are crying out right now. It's just that this news has really, *really* sent the message across that it's become very, very common for young people to have sex, and actually have babies, before marriage.
I'm against that. But it ends there.
I still support Michael Owen, and his amazing girlfriend who is so humble and does not seek publicitiy (imagine being the "special girl" of one of England's best football player and staying quiet about it!). I suppport him whole-heartedly, but I do not support the act of having sex and babies outside marriage. He's an amazing, lovely guy *beams*, and he's so cute! But I do not agree with what he has done. But like they say "The milk has been spilt!" Hahahah! Rather the ovum has been fertilised! I refuse to condemn the person, but I sternly disagree with the act the person commited.
I'm sure the baby will be as lovely as the dad *squeals as Mamolove imagines mini Michael Owens running around*!
I may love Michael Owen, but I sure don't agree with sex outside marriage!
It's been so long! Ok! I just don't have the mood to log online simply because time is pressing here but I actually need to write something because I've read so much and so much has happened to me I just needed to tell everyone about it!
Wah. That was a long sentence ^_^!
Ok. Big tribulation of the month: I lost my purse. Someone stole it from my school bag in the college library. Yes, I was upset. I only knew that it was missing when I was about to pay for my lunch. The sinking feeling that something's wrong is unbelievable. I actually ran around the college (haha... so I get high running. Blame me. I love being on the move.), backtracking, hoping that somehow I dropped my purse. But in the end, I just knew it was stolen, because there was no other place other than the library where I left my purse in my bag! Argh!
And why am I talking non-stop here?
The shelling I got from my paretns was unbelievable! I tried to be optimistic, but they kept putting me down! So I was quite upset-- not because I lost the stuffs (IC, driving licence, ATM), but because my parents kept opening my wound and rubbed salt in it.... Repeatedly! In fact, they seemed more upset about it, and wanted me to be upset too!
So I was!
Hmph. But anyway, it's over now. I'm back to normal. Spent 5 days back at home, and despite the shelling, there's just no place like home.
Another thing. I have this friend: He can't stop touching me!! I HATE IT!!! And he does it to other girls as well, and it just makes me so angry that he thinks he can get away with it! AAAAARRRGH *@#$!!! Fine. I'm pissed off just writing about this guy. He's actually a friend, yes, I say he is a friend. But this habit of his is getting on my nerves. He just can't seem to get his hands off me:
"Hey, Viv!" (pats me on my shoulder. His pat is not just a pat. He LAYS his whole palm on the shoulder! He does that to a lot of girls!!)
"See ya Viv!" (pats me on my shoulder/hand again)
"Hey, I got a question...."
Or in the library, like when I'm using the computer, he'll suddenly be looking over my shoulder and talking so close to my ear! What's he thinking of??! SEDUCING ME?! I know he towers over me, and his voice is very deep and husky and he speaks in a British/Australian accent (which is grating on my nerves), but seriously, I'm not buying this nonsense. So what did I do?
I told him.
I've been avoiding him for awhile, but I knew what I was doing was unfair to him. And I had been very rude/moody/hostile whenever he's around me (but he still didn't get the message! He still kept patting my shoulder!), so one morning, I met him. And told him honestly. Something I said went along the line..... You're not a boy anymore, and I'm telling you because maybe you're not aware of what you're doing (I even said, "In fact, I HOPE you're not aware of this, otherwise it just means you're quite aware of it and are taking advantage of girls.) Then I told him that I DO NOT like people touching me as they please. Hey, even my GIRL friends don't touch me like you so often do! And he does it so casually and often. And none of my friends who are guys ever invaded my personal space and spoke so closely to my ear. Even my friends ask "Hey, is there anything between you and him???"
Masako dear, you KNOW this person!!!
That was a month ago. He graciously apologized, and stopped doing it (even to other girls I think) but now I can see this habit creeping back again. Just yesterday, as my friends and I were doing our homework in the library he suddenly peered over my shoulder, and said in his oh-so-superior voice, "Physics I see. Doing well?" So CLOSE and sudden!! I was abit peeved off. Ha, my friends chuckled, but inwardly there was an uneasy feeling that the habit was back.
And just now, he TOUCHED me again!!! He just walked past me, but patted me at the shoulder with his finger! AAAARRGGGGHH!!!!!
Ok. I'm done with this entry. I'm afraid if I continue the keyboard will just break apart.
Shairil, you hang in there ok? Don't be discouraged. You'll get your medical degree.
Mei Ling good luck!! I'm so sorry I nearly punctured your eardrums with my scream. Blame it on Shairil *laughs*!
*OWEN MANIA*
---------------
I'm backkkk! Katie, HAPPY BIRTHDAY (Oct 14)!! I just needed to write it down in this blog, even though the real date passed and I'd already emailed ya ~_^! Yes, it's a week now, but let's still enjoy it *smiles*!
Ok friends. It's confirmed. My soft toy is called "OWEN". I call it Owen, and it responds *giggles*! I even did a name tag for it *laughs*! Y'know, it was _torture_ for me to read news about Michael Owen (Liverpool and England's super striker) finally breaking his dry spell for the past 9 games in the English Premier League with a HAT-TRICK against Manchester City, then a last minute goal against Everton (I think.)! Why? Because there was no TV in my apartment! I couldn't watch him! And don't even mention about the EURO 2004 qualifying rounds of England vs Slovakia and Macedonia.
Anyway, I'm back at home with my family, with a TV and VCD player in front of me. I bought 2 VCDs of England in the World Cup 2002, and a Michael Owen biography *girly squeals*! It's great! He's great! He's so matured and skilful! Watching the goal Owen made against Argentina in France World Cup 98 was _amazing_. No wonder it was voted Best Goal of WC 98! Anyway, I am _drooling_ at this website.
And what luck! This morning I was able to catch a replay of the game of Liverpool vs Manchester City. The man is so cool. I really like the last two goals of the three that he made. He penetrated the defense and just slammed the goal past Peter Schemeichel! So happy to see Michael Owen play *beams*.
I'm not going to comment on how England's performing in the Euro 2004. Ok. Maybe just one. The team's very weak. They don't have the champion quality or the consistency required. But I hoping things will get better. First, maybe Seaman ought to take a rest for the next few games *hint, hint*...
Ok! I'm going to visit my uncle now! He and my aunty just had a baby girl!! Woo-hoo! Can't wait, can't wait!
And tonight, I'm going to be cheering for Liverpool as they play against Leeds! You know why *smiles*.
Leareth..... Hey, your layout is very gothic (Can imagine the law student still in an afterglow *laughs*)! Speaking about birthdays, may I know when is yours *grins*?
Bye-bye friends!
It's my BIRTHDAY today!!!!
Hee, hee, to those who sent the well wishes, thank you!! To those who forgot, it's ok *laughs*! To those who didn't know, well, now you know *grin*!
It's been a great week. I was going out since Tuesday, CONSECUTIVELY! My goodness! Hehehee.... Best of all, on Friday night, I went out partying with 2 different groups of friends, and I only returned to my apartment at 1.30 A.M! It was a great, wild time, with good, trustworthy friends.
Nadia Ang (just to make it clear who I'm speaking about *laughs*. There's alot of Nadia I know!), I had a GREAT time with you that Friday *hugs*. I was nervous about you and me not clicking like we used to in CBN, but boy was I wrong!! Stay in touch, rugby girl *hugs*!!
To Yoke Yee, Ee Lin, Jenna, Huey Keat, Calvin, and Douglas, thanks so much for the outing! Did I also tell you that we watched "Road To Perdition"? That show's good. Shocking good. A trillion times better than "Signs". The effect was with me for days.... It depressed me, but yeah... It was a _fine_ show. Go watch it, friends!
Mei Ling and Shairil!! Thanks for the SMS! And Shai! I can't believe we actually bumped into each other in the staircase leading to the basement carpark!! It's so good to see you!! I would love to meet up with you one day, probably in December ya? Now it's my turn to study for my term exams.
Mei Ling, good luck for the debate competition!! Intense feelings of tension and anxiety is NORMAL girl, but when you win, the feeling is sooooo good you forget all the hardship (and humiliation *laughs*) you went thru!
Ok ok, bye-bye people! Thanks for the well-wishes again *HUGS EVERYONE*!!
3 days I didn't check my inbox, and I find it swamped with 138 mails. *sob*.
Ok!! Hi everyone! How are you all? I'm fine! Today was Bio Practical, and my gosh! I feel so happy because it went well!! I'm so happy!! Y'know, my lab skills suck, and I'm glad I'm finally seeing some improvement, after scouring over some Bio lab books in the library and practising some of the skills they mentioned. Yay!!
Leareth-chan!! Heh, heh, I realised that there was alot of your blog entries which I somehow missed, and was catching up on you. I feel so sorry for that chap whose car was stolen! My goodness! It's bad enough to have a normal person's car stolen, what more a car specially modified for him. I really liked reading your entry about your rock-climbing outing with your friends! For me, I don't a thing about it, except it looks scaryyyyy to me..... Right, what I wrote for the contest? I seriously can't remember the exact sequence, but it was about how she makes my day and my heart go ballistic *shakes head*.
Mei Ling I'm sorry if anything Elaine and I said that day about dressing made you feel bad! By the way, what you wear wasn't what we were talking about. Dressing well doesn't mean being half-naked and strutting around with high-heels and makeup, no! Elaine meant personal grooming, y'know. Wear and dress neatly. One can look nice in cargo pants too. But is it dirty? Crumpled? Surely, some effort has to be taken into personal grooming. In my opinion, study is study. Never let fashion distract you from your studies. But at the same time, personal grooming is essential. Good grades but messy hair, body odour... Believe me, there are such people who think that their grades are the things that justify them. Yes, they are nice, humble people, but by dressing well, it shows some personal qualities as well, such as organisation-- you have an organised wardrobe. And as unfair as it is, people do make judgements based on dressing. Someone consistently wearing a sleeveless T exposing her navel and a tattoo may not present a good impression to her lecturers, and that's not good because a lecturer doesn't spend enough time with her to know that she's actually a good girl. Y'know? Y'know? So don't fret, Mei Ling! T-shirt and trackbottoms are ok!! What Elaine and I meant was actually personal grooming.
Hey guys! I'm so in love with LINKIN PARK SPECIAL EDITION. The songs are so good. What made me buy the CD was realising that they never cursed! That is special *smiles*. Try listening to an hour of LINKIN PARK, and then switching to Vivaldi. I did that, and my goodness, my brain was simply firing!! It's true!! The contrasting music made me think so fast and clear I finished my Math AND Physics problems really quick! I was that psyched up, *laughs*.
Oh, and Linkin Park songs are great to dance to *smiles*.
After watching the fuzzy, cute Michael Owen play and score goals, I am seriously considering to rename my furry, soft toy piglet which I bought from MEMORY LANE after getting my A-Levels results.... Owen *grabs the piggy and starts stroking it*.
Hi! Can you believe the luck? I was about to go to the Vanessa-Mae concert yesterday, when I found out that I was the Grand Prize winner of her contest, and I didn't need to buy tickets to go see her! I took part in a contest where I had to use the words "Vanessa-Mae" and "Violin" as creatively as I could in 20 words. I still can't believe that crappy slogan I wrote won the Grand Prize *slaps head*!So, I won 2 RM 150 tickets and 1000 BonusLink points!! WAH!!! I really couldn't believe my eyes when I saw the results posted in the internet! But I was worried that the prize would be forfeited because I really wasn't notified about the win by the organizers and never went to claim it! So I printed out the internet results, brought it to the ticket counter at the Putra Stadium, Bukit Jalil (where the concert was held) and showed the organizers there. Yay!!! They still gave me the prize, because I explained that I wasn't notified at all! Ahhhh.... My mom followed me and we had a great time together!!
The concert last night was FABULOUS! It's been 6 years since I last saw Vanessa-Mae, when I lined up in TOWER RECORDS to get her autograph (but didn't get to because she left the autograph-signing session before it came to my turn!). You know, when her band players came up, people were already clapping. But when SHE came out, man, the crowd went crazy! She played alot of new songs from her new album (I can't remember their names at this moment), but I still prefer her older songs like "Toccata and Fugue" and "Storm". It was fun watching her with my mom!
And then, at the end of the show, she played some hot songs, and asked the audiences to stand up, or come down near the stage and dance! And guess what? I actually ran down to the stage with other fans, and we clapped and cheered and hopped around! I was *so* close to her! All I had to do was follow this burly and tall photographer from the press, and I found myself right in front of the stage, in front of her! Then when she hopped down to the floor, she was IN FRONT OF ME!! Vanessa-Mae, right in front of my face, playing her electric violin *faints*!
After she played her last song and left the stage, we kept chanting "We Want More" and "Encore"!! And she came back and played again the fabulous hit, "White Bird". But after that she left again, but we kept begging and screaming *laughs*!! The guy fans were so cute. When she left the stage they actually shrieked, "Nooooo!" We chanted for an encore again, and she came back!! This time she played "STORM". It was great!! Finally, *FINALLY*, after 3 times of encore, she really left, and the fans finally let go of her *smiles*.
So, the show started at 8.45 pm, and ended at 10.45 pm. *screams* I had such a great time yesterday! It was my first live concert, y'know! And it was such a pleasant surprise to get such good seats without paying for them!!
The only thing which concerns me is seeing Vanessa-Mae so thin. She really wasn't that thin last time, and now, she looked too thin for comfort. Her shoulders were bony, like Calista Flockharts! I don't know whether it's the stress, or is it anorexia.... Last time, when she smiled her dimples were really deep, but now, there was hardly any flesh on her cheeks for those adorable dimples to sink in.
Ok! That's all from me! Gotta go! Take care, friends!
A friend has written something in her blog that really made me... I don't know. I just didn't know how to respond to it, and each time I logged into my blog, I couldn't bring myself to write anything because the issue brought up was really painful for me. That's why I haven't written any entry since last Tuesday. I found myself frozen at the keyboard each time I thought I was prepared to respond to it. I just don't know what to say.
I have tried so hard to get you guys to talk to me at that time, but I was avoided, and you even told me "don't tell me mushy-mushy stuff." I'm not being angry or accusing here, if that's what these words here seem to relay. I was never that good in using descriptive words here. In fact, surely the person you mentioned in your blog wasn't me, it was Dhar. But I can't help saying this: YOU weren't the one singled out.
It came to such a point at that time where I just gave up on myself, and really believed that something was wrong with me. When it concerns you guys especially, surely it was me who's wrong. Good and nice friends like you all... If people as good as you all don't like me, then something must really be wrong with me. And I accepted it. I don't hold it against anyone of you, but it still hurts, and it hurts so much!
I felt a really strong pang of sadness when you mentioned that you LIVED for school. I'm glad really that you did, and know that you really did, because even in the school magazine you raved about it, about your classmates. It still hurts me that I was never part of it. In fact, it hurts me even more to think that you guys probably regard me as "the one who messed everything up." It was sad that you guys didn't even bother to at least ask how I was doing. Instead, you just kep silent, and decide not to defend this person here since the whole class and 5B had enough of her.
Now, when I read this:
Our rivalry got in the way; competition was the most important thing at the time; and when we graduated and went our separate ways, most of these were never rectified... in fact, I don't think we ever sat down and explained ourselves to each other, and there was never that i'm-sorry-this-happened-will-you-please-forgive-me session. The negative factors surrounding our friendship simply bubble underneath the surface...
Yeah, I was really lonely.... And sad when I saw you guys happily taking pictures together during Speech Day Form 5. And when I saw how happy you guys were, I just knew: I had been singled-out. And y'know, I really really tried defending myself, telling myself "c'mon change change change you gotta get back to them" eventually I just understood: Nobody bothered to accept me, even if I changed. It was as though the sadness was not enough as punishment-- I was singled-out. At that point I just gave up. Better I let you all in your happy group, happy smiles, happy days of teenage friendship. Better I stay out of the picture, because you guys just don't want to talk about "the mushy stuff".
I know I may not be making sense to many people who are reading this, but those who know what happened in Form 4 and .... the most horrible Form 5, would understand.
And you know what? After all that has happened, the only, only person who keeps getting back at me, and dared to talk about "what went wrong" was Monica. For that, my dear friend, I am so grateful. The time when you cried on the phone.... Well, at this point when I can look back to that moment, Mo, I just want you to know that I'm glad you even bothered to phone me *hugs*.
But even as I keep telling myself to give up on them, on these people I hold so closely to my heart, I just can't seem to forget them. I just wait, outside the circle, for gestures of acceptance by them. If they beckon me to come, I'll come. I get invited for Deepavali parties, or hangouts at KLCC, I go. And each time I go, I return home, VOWING never to join them again because it hurts so much! I bet they never knew it hurt, because I was being Mei Ying, bubbly, eat alot, chatty, laugh loudly.... But when I return home I just feel like a fool. I just don't know why! I seem to be the last to know things, so it's.... It feels so empty. But as much I am so insecured of their friendship with me, I always yearn to meet them again. That is why I *always* jump at the chance to meet any of them, regardless or not whether it's the whole group meeting, or if it's one-on-one.
What happened in Form 5. Yes, you have never talked about it. It's ironic that YOU brought it up, because in my opinion, you never wanted to talk about heavy stuffs with me. You are the type who gets to make everyone feel good (you're really witty and cute), but you distance yourself from people, and prefer not to venture to the personal stuffs. In my case, you didn't want to be bothered by my messed up feelings. And I respect your wishes. That's why I never brought it up. But if someone like YOU, who never got to feel first-hand the damage the Form 5 experience did to me, can talk about this The negative factors surrounding our friendship simply bubble underneath the surface, then imagine how *I* feel! How would *I* feel when I'm around you guys?! As a gang, you guys really make me scared, because until now, I still haven't gotten any response from you all about what happened in Form 5. But fine, I get the message: You didn't like me.
But as I wait for gestures of acceptance and forgiveness from you all, I guess I get comforted easily. A phone call, an SMS, *smiles*.... If you guys don't want to talk about it, I suppose I'll respect your wishes. I just hope that you'd accept me back, because I really like you all. And you have been my old, good, friend since Standard 3. But sometimes, I ask myself, and even my parents ask me, "Why are you still sticking with her? Don't forget what they did to you in Form 5!".
I can't forget what they did to me, it was too painful and sad, but I still can't give up on them. I still care.
As I write this, my eyes are stinging with tears. Yes, this is really a very touchy and painful issue for me. Katie and Andreia knows about it. Jen too. For that I am glad you guys were there to help me... to comfort and console me. *laughs*, Monica can testify to this! She has seen tears fall from my eyes in a split second just by talking about this for a few minutes!
As I look back, I think to myself. I was really be a bad person. Thank you guys for teaching me the lesson.
But as morally correct as that lesson was, it still hurts.
All right. I'll stop this mushy-mushy stuff. Bye.
What is this?! I just opened my inbox yesterday, and today, it's jammed with 49 new mails. "Enlarge your penis", "Have you taken Viagra?", "Hello dear...", etc. WHAT IS THIS?! Does this happen to you guys? It's horrible! There was a time I didn't touch my inbox for a week, and it was spammed with 130 mails (that's the highest record. That's why i remember). This is so sickening! Why can't these blokes leave me alone? I happen to like my email address very much...
Speaking about my email address, you guys just have to see this picture. David Duchovny, at a triathlon event! So manly *drool*.
It's been awhile since any television series really caught my imagination like THE X-FILES. The closest a series has come close to TXF was C.S.I.... I miss The X-Files. I miss Fox Mulder. Fox Mulder was one of the most interesting and captivating television character ever created, in my humble opinion. This was a character who caught me to follow his adventures, his dreams, and sorrows. This was a character whom I cheered for, and cried whenever he cried, simply because I could really feel it! The story in the 7 seasons were tightly written. I followed every episode, so maybe that's why I became so attached to this guy. And the one thing that brought me back week after week was to watch the interaction Mulder had with Dana Scully. These two FBI partners... No other characters in any TV series can make me react the way M&S made me react.
Anyway, I'm not going to explain further. It's just that Oh yes, the online-test.... Hmmm, Shai, you got Seishirou too? I find it abit unnerving, because from the description, I have to agree that I tend to act that way sometimes.... Are we that twisted? C'mon, I hope not *laughs*! And Mei Ling, wow, you're an Earth-lover! Kusanagi is really nice! He's an Ex-Corp soldier I think (very highly trained I suppose), and he's really the only character of the "bad guys" who hasn't killed anybody! He's really, really nice. Good for you Mei Ling! At least you're not like a one-eyed, cold-blooded assasin like some people here *coughs, coughs*...
This is all Shairil's fault:-
Sakurazuka Seishirou Calm, composed, apathetic, with impecible taste, you are the Sakurazukamori. You tend to be generally calm and composed, and never let things get to you, or if they do, show no trace of it on your face. You're true to your word, and have a nasty habit of hurting the people you care about. But you don't care, because you "can't". Right? Take the "Which Dragon Of Earth Are You!" test! by Maduin & Kira |
My first online test. [goes all starry-eyed]... And omigosh... I'm Seishirou *faints ala fangirl style*! Leareth-chan! You see this?!! It's also your fault for introducing Tokyo Babylon to me *laughs*!!
Oh yeah! I met Bee Yeow this morning at the morning market!! She looks good! But she complained that she put on weight (cheeks are fuller), but she looks beautiful to me! She's still slim and thin, but I really am glad she's lookin better now, compared to when I saw her in her hospital.
Yay! Just went to KLCC again, with my whole family. Father brought the 2 kids to PetroSains, while me and my mom went S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G.... Hahahahhaa.... It was great!
Currently I'm trying to do 3 things:
1. Find X-Files fanfics (I haven't read them for a year now, and boy, they are good. For a change, I'm reading fics written by adults, and wow! X-Files fics are great, guys!! But there are alot that suck too, so go to a reliable archive to get good recommendations *smiles*.
2. Write a mail to a certain birdnest....
3. Searching for an online-test to do! Yay! Just finished it (as you can see from the above results *grin*)!
Ok, already having a headache. I really think it's because of the ice-blended chocolate mint bomb from Gloria Jeans that I shared with my mom...
p/s: Mei Ling, your mail will be coming soon... So how many kgs have you lost, huh *big grin*!!
Bye-bye, everyone!
Hello! Ok, I've been catching up with your blog entries, Shai! Eh, c'mon! Be confident of yourself! You're smart, y'know. Don't worry, just do your best and the rest will come naturally *hugs*. Mei Ling wants you to know she likes your layout very much. Personally, I really thought the guys on your page were girls! They are so pretty, they lips so soft and supple, their complexion so fair and smooth and their features so innocent and pure. They really remind me of SPEED. Uhuh, you can imagine how my reaction was when you said they were boys. *chokes*. Great layout!! As for me, I think it'll take me another 100 years to change the format of my entries.
And eh, Shai, I'm sure you read that Utada's married! Of all people, Utada! She's so young!! I can't help feeling worried that the marriage may not be existent by the time she hits 30.... Anyway, all the best, Utada!
Shai, I bet you're reading this. I'm on holiday :P!! *laughs*.... Couldn't help pulling your leg. Bwahahaha.... The 5th year med students I met in the hospital said the exams were ok, and it was the 5th year that was very important, difficult and most stressful. They survived it, so I'm sure you will too. I think it'll be impossible for you to fail. So don't think about flunking the exam, and just study and enjoy it.
I suppose this is where I'm a bit different from you. You feel the anxiety while preparing for the exam. I feel the anxiety and stress AFTER I do the exam, when I feel that there were so many questions I couldn't answer properly. I can understand the panic you sometimes feel, believe me, believe me. But take heart! The doctors I shadowed weren't straight As students, and they were amazing doctors. There's a saying a cafe near my college, "Obstacles are the things that distract you from your goals." This probability of failing.... It's really distracting you from enjoying your studies. Think about it this way, treat yourself after you've done the exam! Hey, when you're free, tell me. Maybe we can go out for lunch together and compare notes about stress *chokes*. Hahahaha! Sorry, pulling your leg again!
Ok..... I suddenly realise this whole entry is dedicated to you, birdnest. Take care!
Eh, what is this?! Yes, I am very blur *laughs*! I'm really sorry you were so hurt *hug*. And sorry I couldn't be there to comfort you.... But you know what? I think I see something in myself that's really different from you, girl.... You allow yourself to experience it, this intimacy with another. As for me, I intentionally don't. That's when Mamoru and gang come into play. You risk, and live. I chicken out, and miss the experience. I admire you for that. But even more, I admire the way you handled the aftermath. The way you survived. Yes, your blog entries are so poetic. I think the other readers feel the same way too, y'know. Hey, would you like a blog makeover? I'm free here. Maybe I can be of some help? ^_^!
Phew! My medical attachment is over. Oh, sorry 0_o;; for not telling you guys about it! It started this Monday and ended today. I shadowed doctors in the Paediatric and Oncology Departments in the National University Hospital, HUKM. It's my 2nd time doing this sort of medical attachment. I must say that this time's the best so far. I got to follow the medical students and plus plus (meaning I got to tail doctors to places even medical students don't go to.... Like the radiotherapy simulation rooms, the ICU units). And now I am really convinced medicine is my calling. It's something that I feel very strongly for since Form 4, and the medical attachments have helped me correct misconceptions I had about medicine, namely whether or not I could tolerate the sight of blood and sick people, gross medical examinations of cancerous body parts (even private parts), and the hectic working conditions. I'm glad to say that yes, I can, and am willing to. Do you know, on Monday a really sick baby came into the ward and I was allowed to see the paediatrician, Dr. Wong, perform a lumbar puncture on her? And today, as I was leaving the hospital, I saw the father bringing the baby out for a stroll in the lobby! I was so happy, I actually went to talk to them!
I was really fortunate to have great and cool doctors mentoring me throughout the week. From Paediatrics, there was the amazing, fun, kind and humorous doctor, Dr. Chen, and the cool and smart Professor Ong (a paediatric neurologist). Dr. Chen was in Prof Ong's team, together with Dr. Wong, Dr. Shireen and Dr. Shridevi. Since Prof. Ong was a neurologist, I got to see mainly cases dealing with meningitis, neuromuscular diseases... Mostly dealing with the brain. I'm just so grateful Dr. Chen was so accomodating. He would tell me what he was doing, what diagnosis he was reaching, and kept encouraging me to ask any questions I had in my mind! Prof. Ong also allowed me to join her teaching session with the 5th year medical students! Oh, the Paeds Departmt was the best!
In Oncology, the atmosphere was really different. Where in the Paed wards you could see bright wall decorations, sounds of babies crying or parents/visitors at the patients bedsides; in the Oncology Wards (male and females were separated in 2 different wards), it was deathly silent. Some lights were switched off, and it was rather gloomy compared to the Paediatric Ward. When I first reported to the Oncology Ward, my heart was beating like a triphammer! I was that scared and unsure of what was in store for me (3 days in Paed, 3 days in Oncology. Sorry for not telling)!
I introduced myself to the staff nurse, and one of the oncologists, Dr Ranjiv, told me that before I could think of tailing the onco gang, I had to talk to the patients first. I was terrified! He said I had to understand what Oncology was about, and the most important thing is to know it from a patient's point of view! You see.... In Paediatrics, I was more confident of myself because I was dealing with kids, and somehow, it came to me naturally. I could comfort and chat and make the kids laugh, thus breaking the ice which further allowed me to chat with the parents. But in Onco, I remember being completely terrified. I really didn't know how I was supposed to carry myself. Should I be serious and stately? Or could I be my cheery self, just like in the Paediatrics Ward?? Thank God I made friends with the student nurses in the Oncology ward! They were at the bedsides of the patients, and when we became friends, the patients also warmed up to me. I got to know of 2 ladies with ovarian cancer (curable)-- One was depressed, the other was optimistic and smiling, and a breast cancer patient from Ipoh. I didn't talk to the male patients though.
Then I followed Dr. Fuad to the simulation room, and saw how he and his colleague, Dr. Chandra, and the radiotherapists and medical physicists, prepare and "rehearse" with the patients the actual radiotherapy session. I'll spare you the details. It's really technical, and my respect simply goes to these doctors because they really plan, man!
As I reflect my experience in the Oncology Department, especially in the ward and clinic (with one of the 3 female oncologists in Malaysia, the cool and friendly Dr. Hafizah!), my heart just aches recalling seeing the women patients in pain, weak, and so uncertain about their future. I dunno why, but I feel so called to enter Oncology as a field of specialty. Do you know I had to be a translator for a few Chinese patients who came to the clinic, because all the oncologists were Malays and Indians and hence couldn't understand Chinese? In a way I feel happy to be able to help *grin*, but really, I feel called to work in the government hospitals as an oncologist. Imagine the frustration and distress some of the Chinese patients who can't speak in English or Malay feel? There really ought to be people to help them! And more female oncologists too!! Imagine, male oncologists examining the female patients for breast and cervical cancers? Wah... I feel really strongly for Oncology and Paediatrics, for reasons so completely different!
Well... Will it be Paediatrics, or Oncology? Anyway, it's too early to tell. But I'm just sosososo grateful for this working attachment. And I'm just *so* grateful to get so nice doctors to be my mentors in the 2 departments, Dr. Chen of Paediatrics and Dr. Hafizah of Oncology!! I really hope I'll get to return to this hospital in the future, not to observe, but to serve and learn with such good people.
Bye friends! Dinner time!