Mamolove
Wednesday, June 26, 2002 02:46 p.m.

A visit to the hospital

It was supposed to be just a normal check-up.... She was so cheerful, confident, assured really. Went there at
7.30 am, supposed to have ended by 8.30 am, but there were so many patients waiting already, the appointment got pushed to 10 am. After 3 hours of waiting and keeping herself occupied with crosswords, she was told that during the checkup there was a problem and more tests have to be done. What was told to her... So non-chalantly said, yet so heartbreaking to the girl. She was left alone, yet again as more tests had to be carried out.

Instead of enjoying her crossword puzzle book, a girl stiffly sat down in the main waiting hall, and broke down into quiet tears.

She was not the one who had to undergo the tests.

Jesus Lord, please hear my prayer....

Mamolove
Tuesday, June 25, 2002 09:30 a.m.

*squeals*!!!!!

This is so nice!! I'm so excited!! I finally got to use a picture template-- here is my beloved MAMORU CHIBA, quite literally, my first anime/manga bishounen. I think he's still *gorgeous*-- blame me, I'm a very loyal person. Once I decide to stick with someone, be it friends, or characters, actors, it's rather long-term. Yes, Leareth-chan and Mei Ling can tell you I'm utterly head-over-heels over Tatsumi Seichirou, someone very busy can tell you I adore Harrison Ford and *drool* David Duchovny, Hanna about Michael Owen, but nevertheless, my fondness for this character, Mamoru, still remains. I guess first love _is_ sweet....

Again, I'm so excited about this background! Do you like it?

Today, it's CBN vs. ASSUNTA GIRLS SCHOOL, Selangor!! C'mon, CBN, WIN WIN WIN!!! Hanna, believe in yourself! Good luck!

Ok, bye. I want to admire my blog background, *laughs*!

Mamolove
Monday, June 24, 2002 02:40 p.m.

I have no idea what I'm doing to this blogpage of mine. But I'm getting my layout/template fixed, so bear with me as I experiment around with my HTML and CSS....

Mamolove
Sunday, June 23, 2002 11:57 a.m.

WHOA! I can't believe this-- a car actually swerved and toppled into the 5 metre-deep drain in front of my house!!

I was just logging online when I heard screeching of wheels and a loud crashing sound! I actually said, "Whoa... Accident ah??" to my mom. True enough, when we looked out of our glass-door, we saw a car, on its side in the drain! Actually, the drain isn't that big and deep. It's just that my house is on a hillside, so there is this playground in front of my house, and it's on a lower level than the road here. There are a few staircases for people to walk down into the playground. Right now everyone's out there steadying the driver and his girlfriend. They're not hurt THANK GOD!! But they're really looking shocked and shaken that they're sitting on the grass. My neighbour is stroking the girlfriend's back... Gosh, HOW ON EARTH did the car crash into the playground?!!

I'll be back.

Mamolove
Saturday, June 22, 2002 06:21 p.m.

YYYYEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!

Korea won!! Korea won!!! KOREA ACTUALLY WON!!!! *screams*!!!

I'm feeling so lightheaded. Let me compose my thoughts before I ramble nonsense *grin*!!!

*ahem*.... Right, the hero of the match is definitely the Korean goalkeeper, Lee Woon-jae!! He really fought with all his heart. The way he grimaced after ramming his hand into the goalpost to save one of the balls... It looked really painful! But he still fought on! Gutsy! The way his eyes seem to pop out as the 4th Spaniard kicked the ball during the penalty kick, and how he moved even before the ball began flying towards the goalpost.. It was such a heart-stopping save!! Imagine the pressure he must have been feeling!! LEE WOON-JAE, YOU SAVED KOREA!!

Do you know, I really don't know what happened to Ahn today. The guy hardly ran after the ball! When it was his turn to kick the 4th penalty kick, Papa and myself were actually mumbling, "Please flower, don't screw this up..." (because Ahn really looks so fragile, and he seems to have a bad record with penalty kicks). And when he actually scored, we cheered!! Not because Ahn scored, but because Ahn *didn't* screw up. I really hope this pretty guy bucks up in the next game. He's lucky to have good teammates-- like the tiny guy who had to give his amulet to the referee, and the guy with small eyes and thick eyebrows (not the skipper).

Euphoria cast aside, I think Korea still has much room for improvement though. As an Asian, I'd LOVE to see them in the Finals, but don't you guys agree that they still can't give world-class, WORLD CUP CHAMPION quality? Against Spain, this was painfully obvious. They truly had _tremendous_ luck this time. Spain was just very careless (for the off-side offences). I'm really sorry to say this, but when I imagine Korea lifting the World Cup trophy, I feel uneasy, because I just have to admit that they are not that good a team to deserve the cup.

But congratulations, KOREA!!

Yesterday, I watched the England-Brazil match at BORA-BORA CAFE with Mei Ling. Mei Ling, don't take it to heart-- I may not have enjoyed the trip and traffic jam, but I ALWAYS enjoy your company. Please believe me in this and don't feel bad, ok? And yes, the chicken chop and strawberry soda was nice!! Besides, it was a nice experience watching football at that nice cafe!! Even though England lost (BIG SOB!!)....

But at least the teddy-bear scored England's only goal. I'm so proud of you Michael *girly squeal*!!!

Heehehee... You know, had I written this yesterday, this entry would have been much more gloomier y'know... I was disappointed that England couldn't maintain the lead so preciously given by Owen. Just ask Mei Ling-- I actually felt a bit nauseous watching the game, despite the wonderful chicken chop! Again, girl, I'm really sorry if you got the impression I didn't really enjoy yesterday outing.... I did, _with_ you at the cafe. Sure, unexpected things cropped up, but I do know the effort you took in arranging the meeting at the cafe. And I'm grateful *hugs*... What happened (traffic jam, losing our reserved table and stuff) was out of your control. Really, thanks for introducing me to the good food and drinks! And the atmosphere-- really, it's my first time watching World Cup like that, and it's gonna be a nice memory for years to come! Had a nice time with you!!

So yeah... Brazil was better than England. Much better. [returns to sulking as an imaginary Shai does the samba *laughs*]

This just goes to show that sadness (yes, I was _very_ disappointed yesterday *laughs*!!) is not permanent. Whatever obstacles we may face, whatever setbacks we may experience, it's never permanent. It may take a while to get back on our feet, but sadness and failure are not permanent. The way we deal with disappointments-- I guess, is very crucial to building our character and inner strength. I could have written a horribly depressing entry yesterday, and it would have marred the good time I had with my friend. And just look at the nature of my entry today! Korea winning, and I'm jumping in joy.

Let's not allow disappointment and depression to be a permanent feature in our lives!

Y'know, so many things happened yesterday and today-- I'm bursting to tell you! But this entry is really long... I think I'll talk about them tomorrow...

Take care!!

My Love: MAMORU CHIBA
Friday, June 21, 2002 11:12 a.m.

AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Just now, this morning, I received a call from Audio One Entertainment Ltd. The guy on the phone asked me whether I was aware that I had won the 3rd prize of the "Irresistable Women" competition, which was held on June 8 (closing date was June 14). At first I was quite confused-- I actually couldn't remember what competition was sponsored by AUDIO ONE. Then it finally hit me-- the slogan writing competition, about what you find irresistable in a woman!! I won 3rd prize!!! Whoa! I'm so happy! Now... If only I remembered what prizes were offered *laughs*! I seem to have a knack of winning these sort of competitions ^_^. Why don't you guys try it? I'm sure you'll win too! Just try!! Like I said yesterday, you have nothing to lose!

Bye! I'm going to meet up with Mei Ling and Yoke Yeng and cheer for England at BORA-BORA Cafe, Ampang Point!!

I won 3rd prize!! *squeals*! Bye-bye!

Mamolove
Thursday, June 20, 2002 12:30 p.m.

I've been reminding myself to write about this... I heard an advertisement over the radio, and something said in the ad made me think. So here goes.

"The world is your campus."

I'm really not concerned with the university which did that ad, but I think their slogan is really inspiring. Many of us try to get into a good place to study, hoping that with the right environment, we'll learn things the right way... Or learn the right things for that matter *laughs*! Yes, choosing a suitable environment is very important, but I think often we forget that learning, in truth, depends on the individual himself. And when I talk about learning, it's not just academic, but eclectic. Obtaining wisdom. Gaining maturity. We learn all the time, _everywhere_. Make good use of the resources available. Learn from the people around us.

"The world is your campus".

That means I have been GIFTED, _given_, the entire planet to learn from! The whole world is under my feet. The boundaries, the walls that may block my dreams, are literally non-existent. What do I have to lose? I simply just need to do my best-- I lose nothing, but gain everything, should I succeed!

[sigh], I'm not good enough with words to really tell you this epiphany I'm having. It's like, "You've been given life! And the whole world! And God loves you! So go out there and give your best, make your dreams come true. If you fail, try again! Because there's simply nothing to lose from getting up again, and fighting again! You only have one life-- so don't settle for less! There's nothing to lose!"

*grin*, hee, hee.... I really like that slogan. I'm not sure whether you understand why, but it really made me stop dead in my tracks, and think deeply. ^_^.

Mei Ling, how do you find your new layout? Hope you like it. If there's anything you want to change, feel free to tell me, ok?

Ah... Shai, the fact that "Michael Owen is so Brit" itself turns me on! *laughs*!! I simply melted when I downloaded an interview of him.... He's accent is so nice. My fuzzy teddy-bear [Mamolove quickly grabs the "teddy-bear", "No! Don't you *dare* hurt him, samba boys!" Bah, Brazil. I'm gonna cheer for the English boys *grin*! By the way, your entry about your prosection was very interesting! And I have to wait for at least another 12 months to start uni!! You lucky girl *smile*. And I still can't download EDEN *sob*.

Oh yes, just an announcement. Tomorrow my school's debate team is going against a school from Malacca, in the inter-state level of the Dato' Wira Debates. Wish them the best of luck!! Go Hanna and gang! We support you! I think the title is "A Country's Prosperity is Determined By The Efforts of People of Yesteryear." Good luck, CBN!

Lastly, Leareth, all the best for your exam! And sure, I'd love to bring you to GENKI SUSHI when you come for a visit! No problem *smiles*.

Bye!

Mamolove
Tuesday, June 18, 2002 11:55 p.m.

::sob::!! Japan lost to Turkey!! I'm so crushed.... Just when the team stole my heart with their gutsy display of "never-say-die" spirit.... I was terribly disappointed with their defeat, so disappointed till I actually cried! I was just so moved by the fans.... I saw this girl, continually trying to wipe her tears away as she clapped supportively for the dejected Japanese players, and well... It moved me so much. But it was seeing Touda, the red-haired gutsy player CRYING that set my tears flowing....

It was good that Korea won though!! I share Shai's enthusiasm. My goodness, I watched the whole match, and it felt *so* good to see the 88th minute goal scored by Korea! And oh YES!! Ahn scoring the golden goal!!

If only the same thing happened to Japan [Mamolove returns to sulking....] Turkey scored their goal in the 12th minute. Italy scored theirs in the 18th. The situation was so similar. And yet, Korea triumphed where Japan failed... *sob* *sob*...

Basically, I'm more sad that Japan lost. I was never a football fan before this, but watching Japan and England play made me one.

On to a brighter topic: I think Hidetoshi Nakata looks very handsome. Lean look, high cheekbones, strong jawlines, eyes as small as Saitoh Hajime.... He looks predatory at times, but many times I think it's just so difficult to see any expression on his otherwise stoneface!! (Maybe it's the tiny eyes *laughs*)... But yeah, he's one good-looking guy.

On an even brighter note: I'm smitten by this fuzzy, wholesome (heh, I can imagine Hanna slapping her head at the word "wholesome"... Reminds you of someone, girl? *laughs*), good-looking, adorable, cute, fuzzy, warm, fuzzy, teddy-bear-lookalike person.

His name is..... Michael Owen!!! Ah, he really looks so warm and fuzzy.... Hmmm... Could this be a delayed effect of having touched too many soft toys at MEMORY LANE? I *am* still agonising over the decision to buy the cute little piglet! Anyway, PLEASE!!! Let England win!! Let Michael Owen have his way!! I don't want Brazil to win!! I want my teddy-bear-- Wait, that's not right! I want Michael Owen to reach his dreams!! Go England!! Crush the samba boys!

I've got so many things to say, but I think I'll leave some for tomorrow... For now, Leareth, I _love_ your Tatsumi&Tsuzuki layout. It's so beautiful! As for me, I'll just have to settle for this plain background until I find a suitable server to upload my templates....

Yay!! Shai actually phoned me *laughs*! Looking forward towards lepaking with you ^__^! Oh ya... I wanted to ask you something over the phone but I forgot: How come I can't seem to be able to download EDEN from your website?

Ok ok... My headache (which began when Japan lost) is starting all over again. Better sign out now...

Congrats Korea. And Japan, I'm so proud of you guys!! Don't worry, like what your coach says, "Look forward to 2006!".

Mamolove
Tuesday, June 18, 2002 10:36 a.m.

Leareth-chan, your email's coming! I'm soso sorry I delayed writing it last night!! It's coming!!

My Page
Monday, June 17, 2002 10:19 a.m.

YYYYYYEEEESSSS!!!! My A-Levels are over! Finally, after 5 weeks, it's finally over. The feeling is so nice (can't find other words to describe it).... Heh, it always feels nice when the exam's over. I guess it's because there's no longer a sense of dread/anticipation of whether you'd be able to do well in your papers. I'm so happy! THANK YOU dear GOD!

I'm going ice-skating with my friends after this. Kaleena, thanks for teaching this nuthead here to ice-skate. I remember when I first started out with Dhar, Adeline, Min Yee, Siaw Ling, and co., I was clutching the sides of the walls for dear life *laughs*. Last week when I tried ice-skating, it was better since Kaleena was around to teach me *grin*. And listening to the rhythm of the music at the skating rink helped too ^_^.

Mei Ling, why don't you vary your routine abit? Instead of doing research for your practicals each week, why don't you just do it once for all the practicals for the month? Hey, I'd be tearing my hair out if I were you too *laughs*. Grades are not in proportional to the hours spent studying. Looking forward to chilling out with ya this Friday, gal!!

Ok, I've realised that ever since I started this blog page of mine, I hardly write any emails anymore. Hmph... Haven't even told Leareth about this page yet.... Yes, will tell her tonight! And show who who's M-E-I Y-I-N-G (calls Tatsumi up and asks whether he's interested as well. Tatsumi nods, cackling to himself. Mamolove: *sweatdrop* err... Tatsumi... don't get carried away...

Lastly, CONVENT BUKIT NANAS won the state-level Dato Wira Parliamentary Debate Championship!! That's my school! So happy for you guys. *Finally* Hanna, you make me proud *cries tears of joy*. [Mamolove runs away as the baka brings out a needle to burst yet another of her well-inflated balloon.]

Mamolove
Friday, June 14, 2002 05:32 p.m.

Lunch With A Sushi Master

This morning, alone at home, I browsed through the STAR Section 2, and saw an advertisement (full page, full colour!) announcing the appearance of Master Chef Sasanuma, at my favourite sushi shop, "GENKI SUSHI", KLCC. Immediately, I decided to have lunch there, hoping that I would be able to see the guy in action. For those of you who don't know, KLCC is not very near to my home *sweatdrop*. Sometimes, even though the desire to go there is strong, if I'm alone with no car, I'd think twice. But in this case, BAAM! I just decided on impulse to go. I've eaten enough sushi done by local people, so this was my chance to taste a sushi master's work, in an affordable shop ^_^! While getting ready, I thought of the friends I could ask out. Most had classes, but my neighbour, Yoke Yeng, happened to be lepaking at S&M at that time, and agreed to join me on my quest to taste the good sushi *grin*. The compulsiveness was exciting.

I reached Genki Sushi at 12 sharp, and met up with Yoke Yeng. The moment we stepped into the shop, we were ushered to our seats. From outside the shop I could see Sasanuma-san (heh, I've been to that shop so regularly I can spot who's new *grin*) and I was getting excited already. It was quite a surprise to hear him bellow out "Irrashaimasu!!!". This, coming from a senior, distinguised chef. Heh, the other chefs never greeted the customers like that before!

Anyway, it was an even bigger surprise to get the seats IN FRONT of Sasanuma-san himself! So we could see him to do the stuffs, and even got to chat to him (with my limited Japanese and his equally limited Cantonese/English). Best of all, I get to personally tell him the sushi I wanted, and he made them for me *squeals*!!! They were so good! The texture, the softness and suppleness of the rice, were noticeably different from the usual ones on the conveyor-sushi-belt. And the seaweed were all cut very well-- I didn't spot any torn edges *grin*. And when I used my chopsticks to hold the sushi, it didn't fall apart, but neither was it hard and too sticky.

He also did for us a special sushi-- it was oyster. Honestly, I never dared to eat the oyster sushis before this, but the cheery sushi master was already bumbling to himself after he warmly said he'll do something for us (there was a local chef beside him and he translated to me :)!). Finally, he offered the plate of oyster sushi in front of me. I accepted. So it was just like the Japanese drama starring Takashi Kashiwabara *drool*, "SHOTA's SUSHI". In the show, the sushi chef would do the sushi in front of the judge, and anxiously wait for the judge's comments. Believe it or not, that was what happened with me and Sasanuma-san!

He smiled warmly as he observed my reaction as I downed the sushi (and I know how to eat sushi properly *beams*). Now, what happened next has nothing to do with me being observed by a bubbly chef and a bunch of other customers (including Yoke Yeng)....

1. My eyes glanced left and right as I registered the blend of sweet sour taste in my mouth.
2. Blinking, I continued to savour the sushi in my mouth.
3. Finally, as the sushi slid down my throat, I have no idea why, but there was a distinct taste and a pleasant sensation of cold and supple oyster sliding down, so *wonderful* my eyes just flew wide open.
4. Blinking, and speechless, I stared at the chef.
5. And like a crazy puppy nodded vigourously and cheered, "HONSHIIIII!!!!!!!"

*smiles*, oh I had such a nice time. Had a great time chit-chatting with my good ol' buddy Yoke Yeng (she really liked the oyster sushi too ^_^). Oh, and we had a good view of Sasanuma-san doing the sushis for other customers. Hee, hee *blush*, halfway doing the sushi he noticed I was looking at the way he was doing it, and he said I was "kawaii" *beams*. *laughs*!!

Y'know, I think I'm going to apply this sushi chef's work-attitude more in my own life. Here was a guy who would greet _every_ customer in such a cheery, loud way you can't help but smile at his courage to do so. Remember, this was a guy who had little knowledge of the language in M'sia. But he still spoke alot to the customers in Japanese, and well... I think it's the effort and integrity he displayed that boosted the whole staff's morale. On top of that, he was a sushi champion, and yet he greeted his customers so whole-heartedly, when the local chefs themselves, much smaller in stature, never did.

I have much to learn myself. Being humble always is the best policy.

Whatever my A-Levels results are going to be, I've decided I won't be crushed by it. It's the effort that brings the satisfaction, and I'm not going to give up in pursuing my dream of becoming a doctor. Thanks, sushi-guy, for a wonderful, inspiring lunch!

My Page
Thursday, June 13, 2002 01:41 p.m.

Hi,
feeling better today. Ok, apart from yesterday's emotional flushout (is there such a word???), yesterday was also Papa's birthday! When I went to KLCC, I bought a new golf glove for his birthday! It's green in colour, and it looks so nice. My father liked it (but I think he was uncomfortable that I bought it.... Y'know, typical fathers "I-can-buy-you-things-but-you-should-not-waste-money-buying-things-for-me" policy *grin*).

For dinner, we had seafood steamboat! It's so nice choosing stuffs you want and just dumping them into the.... (hehheeh, what do you call that thing on the table to boil the soup?) Well, I suppose it's called the steamboat *grin*. We had 2 choices, tom yam and chicken soup. Both were nice.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Papa!

psst... Mummy's secretly planning to treat Papa to good-ol' steak at EDEN for Father's Day this Saturday *wink*.

Hey, guys, what do you do at home to keep you occupied? Right now I'm on a holiday, but I've been so used to having my brother, sister and Mummy together as well (before I entered college, I was a NORMAL school student and had the same school holidays as my mom and siblings), but now, the college holidays totally missed the timing. Now that I'm free, there's nobody at home, and worse still, there's no food and no car! I've been having fun trying to reproduce POKEMON trading cards by hand-drawing and colouring the Pocket Monsters and sticking them on cards. (Please.... i'm doing this for my lil sis and bro. Really! Hey, really!! *laughs*!!)

Other than that, I've been considering to buy some piano and violin books from Kinokuniya.... But each time I hold them in my hands, I keep changing my mind and return them to the bookrack because they simply cost SO MUCH! One book, wtih an average of 8 songs only, can fetch a whopping RM80!! So, for the time being, I'm settling on playing by listening to the songs. Currently, I'm having fun playing some nice anime songs on the piano. I am so in love with the Ending Theme of the X OVA, "Strength"! It's so beautiful! Thanks for the CD(s), Shai*glomp attack*.

I'm planning to learn how to beautify this plain blogpage of mine. I can't load any pictures/templates I want simply because my accounts at crosswinds.net and angelfire.com don't allow cross-linking of images. I was wondering.... Does anyone here know of a free server that allows cross-linking of images? I'm desperate here! Mei Ling, looks like I can't teach you how to upload your pics yet! We need to find a server, not just any server, but one which allows cross-loading or cross-linking. Basically, I know of only one option: Buy ourselves our own server. Eep. Ideas, anyone? Geocities?

Hey, Monica, if you're reading this, I saw something in MEMORY LANE which had an uncanny resemblance to you.... It was a soft, fluffy pig.
[Mamolove chokes as Monica wrings her neck *laughs*!!!]

Sorry to hear the gong fell on your head, Shai*sympathetic grin*. Here's tea, take a sip, jump in glee, and don't be pissed!

My Page
Wednesday, June 12, 2002 11:16 p.m.

Hi.... Nearly a day has passed after the disturbing Chemistry paper. I went to KLCC in the afternoon, and had a nice time strolling through the clothes department in ISETAN, and molesting several cuddly and EXTREMELY fine-furred soft toys in MEMORY LANE and TWINKLES TOYSHOP. I tell you, the act of stroking the teddy bears and piglet's fur is actually therapeutic. It made me momentarily forget about my Chemistry paper performance.

Before I go on, I NEED to clear up, once and for all, this business about my Chemistry paper. Ok. Here goes....

When I look back at my entry nearly 12 hours before this, I'm simply reminded how self-centred I am. It doesn't matter that God helped me to even complete the whole paper on time, it's how many marks I LOST FROM OBTAINING A PERFECT SCORE. It doesn't matter that I could answer many other questions, it's how many I COULD NOT answer. It doesn't matter whether I can get sufficient grades to enter a good university to study medicine, it's the fact that "Shit! I can't get a perfect 5 A score for my A-Levels!"

At times like that I just forget every truth, every promise that I know God has made, and throw everything away in a flurry of disappointment, frustration and stress. sigh.... I wish I wouldn't feel all these feelings, y'know. It doesn't make me feel good.

But now I'm calmer. I must move on. I must look ahead. I MUST trust God in this. He *does* follow me wherever I go. And He is the one who knows what's best for me. Afterall, my getting a B in my SPM was a blessing in disguise-- I received the overseas (United Kingdom) medical scholarshipm while those straight A scorers in the country received the local scholarship because it was offered first. Before I received the scholarship I was *so* depressed-- just a single B, and everything's ruined. No scholarship. Stuck in Form 6. Hell in the STPM (oooppppsss..... Mei Ying runs away from a seething Mei Ling!). Mine was offered in the 2nd intake. It's just me, such a fickle, unstable, insecured girl who sometimes prefers to rely on her own efforts rather than trusting the Mighty One to take over her matters.

Why am I like this? Why can't I be like the calm waters, unaffected by daily pressures? Heh. Sometimes I wonder whether other Christians feel like this-- so troubled by just a petty matter like an examination. Hello Mei Ying!! Wake up!! Getting As isn't everything! It's this very "SOB-I-CAN"T-GET-AN-A!!!" nature of yours that's the reason why your friends hate you!

Can't blame them. They're really nice people, and they don't abhor others in the strange, pseudo manner they do of me (I suppose it's neither outright hate, but neither do they accept me as their friend...). So if such good people don't like me, then it must be true that I'm the one with a problem.

Okay.... Maybe I'm not that calm yet.... Must be my monthly hormonal imbalance. Better stop here before I *really* start pouring out nonsense.

I'll continue, kay, but right now I seem to have dug out an old nightmare and it's really making me sad all over again.

By the way,Mei Ling!! Thanks for telling me your journal's address! See, I've put up a link to your page! And my dear Leareth-chan, *I'm* Mei Ying [whacks the baka-chan *laughs*!!!]!!! And Shai, looks like I'd better take that personality disorder test as well...

I'm tired. Whoever is reading this, I'll see ya around.

My Page
Wednesday, June 12, 2002 11:11 a.m.

I want to cry. Chemistry Structure today was horrible. Horrible. Horrible!! I lost 3 whole marks for a damn calculation, 2 marks for explainations which I doubt I guessed correctly, and probably 10 extra marks lost for unknown mistakes yet discovered by yours truly.

I try to forget the mistakes, especially in the calculation question, because I know worrying can't change anything.

But the same feeling keeps attacking me again. It's so sudden, so severe that my heart literally shrinks in pain.

I think I'm reaching my limits. 5 weeks of examination is getting on my nerves.

And of all days, OF ALL DAYS, my menstruation starts an HOUR before the Chemistry paper. No wonder I woke up feeling out of balanced, y'know, feeling "one-kind", flushed, unable to concentrate, etc...

I hate this.

I hate myself.

Mamoru Fanfiction
Saturday, June 8, 2002 08:56 p.m.

My father is so sweet *smiles*. Took the family out for lunch, but insisted, above the noisy bickering of my little brother and sister, that it's BIG SISTER's pick. Yay! So I dragged everyone first to Midvalley's Oh Sushi Restaurant, but at the thought of eating raw fish my father turned a little bit green so I quickly changed my course *laughs*. Brought everyone to CHILI's instead. And it was SO GOOD!!! It's been a long time since we ate something different (other than my sibling's favourites: PIZZA HUT or KFC). Let's see.... My mom and I shared the Classic Fajitas whereas my father got something chicken with black beans and rice. My lil bro chose pizza (for RM6.45 it was big!!), and my sister had something chicken with fries. The pizza arrived first. Halfway through out "food adventure", my sister slowly pulled out a long strand of hair from her piece of pizza. So we just told the waiter when he came to serve the fajitas. Boom. Things happened so quickly. The waiter's eyes seemed to pop out, and he quickly called another crew member, and the other crew member quickly said he'll call the manager. Boom, a few minutes later the manager came out and apologised profusely. We were too shocked to reply immediately *laughs*! Anyway, although my father said it was ok, the manager insisted we order something, "It's on the house". Again, my father sheepishly said it was ok (heh, typical chinese man ^_^). The manager then said, "Please. I insist!" So he promised her we'll get dessert for free. And boy, it was so nice! I've never tried this before: I think it was called "Molten Chocolate Cake". It was hot chocolate cake, with moderate streams of hot fudge, and maple syrup around the plate (not touching the cake) and ONE HUGE scoop of vanilla ice-cream coated with chocolate on top of the cake!!! I tell you, it was so big and black! And it tasted so nice.

So bahagia.

Chocolate does that to me. Just ask my friends, like Shairil.

To think about it, maybe it was the fact that it was unexpected and free that made the whole outing so fun. *grin*. Honest, this is the first time we've tried such an expensive restaurant (let me correct myself-- expensive WESTERN FOOD restaurant. Chinese restaurants are a different matter *laughs*). Heh, heh. Glad we all enjoyed the outing.

I'll be taking my Chemistry Structure paper next Wednesday. I said this non-chalantly to myself during tea, and my father nearly choked on his coffee-- "You're still having your exam???!!! WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AROUND LIKE IT's A HOLIDAY???!" ^_^!! My dear father *smiles*. I LOVE YOU PAPA!

Friday, June 7, 2002 10:56 p.m.

Gah!! ::sniff:: ::sniff:: Not good at css. And I can't even upload my graphics to this blog. But I really want to make my own templates! The thing is, I already have, but my server doesn't allow cross-linking. Shai, do you know of any server which allows free cross-linking?
But I'm having fun learning *grin*. Whoever is reading this, take care! Oi, Mei Ling, can I have your blog address too??
Gotta leave the computer. It's becoming a constant feature in my sight *shudders*. Getting a bit sick of it. Bye!

My Page
Friday, June 7, 2002 08:05 p.m.

It bothers me somehow.... First I was so excited with the idea of a blog page, but now, I'm having second thoughts about it. Why write something which may run the risk of being wiped out due to some server shut-down or internet glitch, when I can write it in a diary??? This is disturbing.

Another issue: How personal, how *personal* can a blog page be? If I'm going to actually express myself freely here, I'm afraid it'll get out of hand. You know there is a distinct boundary between what you *think* to yourself and what you *say* to yourself. If we were to know every thought, dark or good, of every one, regardless of whether they're good or not-so-good people, it'll be a very frightening world. And oh, the things I can think of when I'm not happy....

ANOTHER issue *laughs*. After visiting about 10 other blogs, I couldn't help but notice that blog-writers have the tendency to be self-absorbed. It's not uncommon to have them muling over their problems, cursing others for causing their misery, yadda yadda yadda. I don't know whether saying this will help....
"YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY PERSON HAVING PROBLEMS!!!!"
Ahhh.... That feels much better *laughs*! Just joking guys. But on a more serious side, be strong and never say die in overcoming your problems ok?

Hmmm... Already I find writing this little a bit overwhelming. Owell, thanks for reading. Remember, don't get too self-obsessed. It's frightening man!

My Page
Monday, June 3, 2002 08:25 a.m.

Yay! Just got a new blog page! The idea really appeals to me. Will get a better layout when I have the time. Anyway, gonna take my Thinking Skills exam in the next 45 minutes. Wish me luck!!