Thursday, October 23, 2003
Hello *hugs*!! I'm really sorry for not updating at all ever since I landed here and wrote that short entry 3 weeks ago. Really, time seems to fly by so fast-- it feels as though I'm trying to grasp the wind.
I really had a nasty start, doing so badly in my first Microbiology test. It was a day after my birthday, at the beginning of the 2nd week of school, so I was hardly prepared, and didn't even have a firm idea of what the syllabus was like. BOOM! I was knocked down by the 200-tonne MCQ test....
And emerged the bottom of the whole medical school. I'm serious.
It was really painful, especially when my professor projected the statistics in the form of a histogram over the large lecture theatre screen. My marks were the lowest, and only one person got that mark. Of course I knew who it was. My friends were complaining that they "did so badly!!"-- they got 1 or 2 answers wrong, whereas I actually only answered 3 questions out of 10 correctly. They were considerate to stop complaining in front of me when they found out I was THE ONE.
But I think, this was the best wake-up call for me. In the first place, I didn't do justice to myself by not studying, so basically, I somehow felt very detached that day. Detached because I wasn't even emotionally involved with the preparation for the small test, but ashamed nevertheless. Imagine, it was the first time I failed, and boy, did I fail B-I-G.
I can only thank God that somehow, I got over with this. It took quite awhile to regain some shred of self-confidence, but I truly believe God wants to bless me with this painful experience. By his grace, I'll climb back.
That aside, I had such a nice birthday this year!! Four of my close friends actually came up to my room at midnight on the 13th October, with a cake!! One of them didn't even live at the halls of residence, so I was really really touched.
The during the day, my Malaysian and Singaporean friends in medical school celebrated my birthday in the common room. Imagine, even the 2nd year seniors came. I felt so special that day *laughs*! And for dinner, it was dinner at the house of my friend who didn't live at the halls. It was special, because it wasn't in the noisy dining hall, but in a simple, tiny kitchen. Just like a family dinner. I was very happy on the 13th October 2003 ^______^.
Of course, the next day, 14th, I had my test, and you know what happened.... My friends had their test on other days, but mine happened to be the day after my birthday. I wasn't prepared, oh NO, I wasn't....
Third week already, and I've settled down, finally. I joined the Fencing Club, and also the Christian Fellowship. I really enjoyed myself in these societies, so I'm looking forward to their activities. It's really encouraging that there are so many medical students in the C.F-- some of them are already in their 30s, working as doctors and one is even a surgeon! It's inspiring that they commit so much of their free time and energy to God.
There is only one thing I regret.... I did not join the Debate Union. I went for their first meeting, but it became my last when I found out that their meetings were held late at night, at a university location which is 20 minutes away from my halls of residence. I really wanted to participate, but after much rumination, I made the decision to let it pass. Next year would be better-- I would be shifting out of my halls of residence, and would be renting an apartment with my friends which hopefully will be nearer to the Debate Union's meeting place.
To my friends who have been concerned about me, thanks. I miss home terribly, and sometimes a lump forms in my throat at the oddest of times! But thank goodness, I don't feel so bad whenever I have work to do, or friends to be with. I'm finally settling down in Edinburgh... I WILL SURVIVE *blows the battle horn*!!!
Written at 10:06 p.m.